CHEMICAL X

Here’s the thing, this was meant to be a guest post. A guy called Mike was meant to bang out some copy that would run today. He bailed out on me last minute. Reason being; he’s having a serious writer’s block. The eminent struggles writers go through sometimes, I guess! Maybe more luck next time, eh? So I had to show up, like all writers should. Read along.

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I grew up in the 90’s and early millennial years (see how I talk of it as though its ions of years ago, hehe). Back in the days, I was a sucker for cartoon shows. Remember Cartoon Network? Dexter? Edd, Ed and Eddy? Courage the Cowardly Dog? Johnny Bravo? Yes, that kind of stuff. My favourite cartoon character was Samurai Jack. Oh Lord! I used to finish up my homework in school as I waited for the school bus to take us home. That way, I wouldn’t have to do it at home. Sometimes I’d do my homework in the bus sandwiched between two mouthy kids talking through my ears. But none of that stopped me. All this hustle, just to make sure nothing stood in the way of me watching a Samurai Jack episode. Once I got home, I’d switch on the TV, eat a snack, take a shower, read, have dinner as I talked to Mum and my siblings before I could retreat to bed. And the sequence would begin the next morning.

There was this cartoon show I also liked. The Powerpuff Girls. The story-line was about a professor who was mixing up stuff in his laboratory to make perfect little girls – sugar, spice and everything nice – then he accidentally added Chemical X to the concussion. Hence the Powerpuff girls were made. Not just ordinary girls, but they had super powers. They went on to protect the city they lived in from villains and bad guys who kept showing up. Quite a story, don’t you think? I wonder who wrote that.

You know what? Women have super powers too. They are sort of power-girls especially in men’s lives.

You’d be shocked at how much power women possess over men. Sometimes its manipulative. Other times its well-meaning. A woman can make you lose touch with your boys. She can spend all your money, or help you learn how to save. A woman can change a man’s dress code – especially if she doesn’t like his sense of fashion. With her powers, a woman can make a man see life in new perspective. She can teach him new lingo, make him see ahead, cause him to make new friends and loose a few existing ones. A woman can easily finesse a man into doing anything and before he knows it, he’s almost through with the task. Damn! It sucks sometimes. Just like the fictional Powerpuff Girls, women can fight villains and bad guys without moving a finger. Their words and machismo is enough. A woman can save a man from himself. I don’t know how, but she can.

Yet it baffles me that the same powerful woman has such grandiose weakness. An Achilles heel of her own. One that’s often embedded in her low self-esteem, emotions, fragility and the fear of not being beautiful. Its twisted, right?

I admire successful married men who attribute their success to a woman who stood with him, believed in him, manipulated him a bit (well, a bit more), helped him build his dream and brought out the best in him. His Chemical X. Such a woman is powerful. I love playing chess. In chess, the queen piece is the most powerful piece on the chess board. She has an array of moves and the rest stand no chance at her wrath. And to our benefit (us men), the king piece is the reason for the game. Without it, there is no game. (Men, can I get an ahuuuu!) Anyway, the queen piece is no different from real life.

Women are just too powerful. Some understand this power they have others just downplay it.

I know you’ve probably done this at some point – scrolled through your contacts profile pictures and status updates on WhatsApp, right? Me too, I do that sometimes. So this day I was busy doing just that, wasting my precious time stalking my contacts. Then I saw a former classmate’s status update and it caught my attention. It read something like, ‘your success as a man is highly dependent on the type of woman you choose in your life.’ Deep.

I prompted the guy saying I liked his status update (weird, eh?). He texted back telling me that he wouldn’t be where he is if it wasn’t for his woman. She brings out the best in him. Fuels his ambition and remains to be his number one fan. For crying out loud the guy is driving my dream car; a Land Rover Defender. Sigh! I guess he’s on that Chemical X effect alight.

On the contrary, not all women use the power they have to do good. Some take advantage. They use their sex appeal, their extra wits and sixth sense to bring men down. They devote themselves to it and pride themselves for it. They draw in many but only few escape ‘alive’. They easily destroy what’s taken time to build. If you come across such a woman, brother, keep your distance, don’t get too close.

We are men held captive by the women in our lives. We love them, sometimes we disagree with them, but nonetheless, we still love them. It’s true to say that we would be lesser men if it wasn’t for them. God made it that way. We’d be lost without them. We’d be a world of stiff men always competing and arguing over something. But we are not entirely that, all thanks to women.

Happy Mashujaa day amigos!

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